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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Are You Complacent And Ignoring These Common Signs of Marriage Problems?

By: Brandon Hong

All couples go through difficult times, when outside pressures just get the better of them and things start to go badly at home, and they aren't necessarily signs of problems in the marriage. Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules and career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. So how can you tell if these problems are typical, or indeed are early warning signals of marriage problems that might be cause for concern?

Let's look at these common signs of marriage and relationship issues:

a) Complacency
Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of potential problems in a marriage is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say "I love you" can all be signs of marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis.

b) Decreased physical intimacy
If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be another sign of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems call all take it's toll on a couple's sex drive, and doesn't necessary equate to marriage problems. However, if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it could mean a sign of a marriage problem that needs to be addressed.

c) Avoiding conflict
In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be a signal of problems in a marriage.

d) Need to win
When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage issue or marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, and requires teamwork. There should be no winning and losing in a marriage, only cooperation and working toward shared goals. If you aren't doing this, you may be showing signs of problems in your marriage.

e) Considering an affair
If one or both of you are considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you are showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what is missing in your relationship, and work out some ways to rekindle the romance and stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating. So think long and hard before you go down that road.

f) Separate vacations, separate lives
If you find you and your spouse making plans without each other, whether it's separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage issues or problems. It shows you could be drifting apart without both parties realizing. Remember that you are a couple, and that comes first, and you can nip these signs of marriage problems in the bud.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Put an End to the Stress and Anxiety of Not Knowing What to Do to Save Your Troubled Marriage! Get proven marriage tips and advice today. www.ways-to-save-a-marriage.info/articles

Monday, September 10, 2007

How To Get Back With Ex - Maturity Matters

By: Andres Berger

The underlying cause for the break up of any relationship is the lack of ability to sustain a lasting relationship on the part of one or both of the people involved and the basic underlying cause of this inability is immaturity.

To be mature as a human being means one is fully developed as a person and in a state of readiness to pursue something of value. A mature person has reached a plateau from where one sees self in relationship to others. He or she possesses the qualities needed to build a relationship based on common interests and possesses the willingness to grow and expand ones knowledge of self and another.

A mature person seeks a relationship, in which he or she can love another with an uncompromising love. To seek a relationship is to seek someone to love. When seeking a relationship has as its goal "to be loved", the relationship is already on a rocky path. Reconciliation may not be a wise pursuit.

The mature person refuses to be an enabler and refuses from the beginning to compromise in order to gain the love of another. We sometimes call love, physical attraction and attention from another, but this is not Love. Often it is under the pretense of gaining love.

When someone says, I love you; this may or may not be a true statement, although both parties may believe it at the time, because they unconsciously or even consciously crave love. This statement may simply mean I like the feeling I get when you ..., whatever it is you do for him or her. Those relationships in which both persons have reached a level of maturity, which allows them to communicate effectively in word, deed and moments of silence, are lasting relationships.

In considering, whether you should pursue rebuilding a broken relationship with an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, consider honestly the type of relationship you had. When is the last time you and your ex glanced across a crowded room and in that brief eye encounter both knew this as an exchange of mutual love. When is the last time you said to your ex, "Don't plan on cooking tonight, I am taking you someplace special for dinner and then to the theater"? When is the last time your ex did something really special for you just because of her love for you?

How often have you proven your love simply by cleaning off the dinner table and sharing chores just to spend time in her presence? When is the last time your ex came and sat down beside you while you were watching a football game just to be with you, although she dislikes football? Was your relationship a mature relationship?

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Copyright 2007 - Andres Berger gives advice on How To Get Back With Ex and also operates a very popular newsletter on How To Get Your Ex Back

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Achieving Happy Relationships: 5 Ingredients For The Mix

By: Bill Urell

It is proven in the field of medicine that tender loving care can heal minor illnesses such as colds or fever. TLC (tender loving care) can be attributed to love and it can also be directly relative to harmonious and happy relationships. Happy and meaningful relationships, may it be with friends or family or may it be platonic, romantic, etc. can really have a direct impact to your health.

One proven study from University of Virginia revealed that women whose husbands are emotionally involved in the relationships have happier marriages. It has also been found out that women craved more affection, time and understanding from their husbands than tangible things. Another study from Cornell University showed that those who are in committed and romantic relationships are happier than those who are not.

We are not dealing solely with romantic relationships. They are only one of the numerous kinds of relationships which can make people happy. Happy relationships are the product of a person's state of mind. You may be into a relationship, but you can choose to be, or not to be happy. Here are some ingredients needed to be incorporated into happy relationships:

1. Have a positive attitude! Face it, being a pessimist affects your whole being. How can you be happy when you have negative thinking and a bad attitude? You cannot build a happy relationship if there is no love within you. Start the day right! Smile and seize the day! Treasure every moment that passes and enjoy! Get a hobby, go into sports and go through all the things that you are really fond of.

2. Always remember that happiness is not a future state. Many of us relate happiness to getting a good paying job, a handsome husband, a hot car and a beautiful home in the near future; but these things are not necessary in achieving happy relationships. Cultivate the attitude of life appreciation. Be contented with what and who you are involved at present. Appreciate and savor each moment and always remember that you are blessed.

3. Do something useful. You can feel your importance when you are engaged in worthwhile activities. People often feel happy when they have contributed to the development of a community or a person's growth. Building small acts of kindness like giving up your seat on the bus can be a good way to achieve a feeling of worth. You can join the church choir, clean drive or engage in any social or volunteer work that can increase your feeling of self worth.

4. Examine the alternatives. One of the differences between a happy and an unhappy person is that the former choose to have fun! Options are endless; it's just a matter of choice. Cultivating friends, increasing fun filled activities and just talking to a neighbor can lead to happiness when done with a light heart and happy disposition. There is also a study that persons who use computers are less likely to be sad than those people who don't. (Don't ask me why!).

5. Build a close relationship with God. Having a spiritual life and a healthy respect for the world around you, can lead to contentment, and serenity which can all lead to happiness. Relationships can be nurtured, new friends can be welcomed and arguments will be lessened if there is a closer relationship with the Supreme Being.

Happiness is a state of mind; it starts within oneself. A wife can choose to have a happy married life or ruin it by thinking about future problems that may not occur. Decide to be happy now because future is yet to come. As Abraham Lincoln puts it 'you are as happy as you make up your mind to be'. With a little mutual work happy relationships are achievable.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Pick up your Free Recovery Rolodex, Over 97 pages of self help and recovery tips, resources and links to enhance your life in addiction recovery.The author, Bill Urell MA.CAAP-II, is an addictions therapist at a leading drug addiction treatment center. He teaches healthy life styles and life skills. Tell your story! Visit: www.AddictionRecoveryBasics.com

Monday, July 23, 2007

How Can You Keep a Long Term Relationship with Your Partner in a Marriage?

By: Jerry Leung

Once you decided to get married with your beloved, it is time to be sure there is consensus between you and your partner. Some issues might be left over and never be discussed thoroughly before. The problem is those issues might be quite important and might ruined your marriage in the long run.

The followings are some issues you need to think about:

1 Faithfulness in the relationship
No one would stand a third person in a marriage. However, what is the boundary of being unfaithful? Everyone might have a different ruler. Discuss it with your partner and see how the differences between your and your partner's thoughts are.

2 Respect & tolerance
We should respect and trust our partners. Any unreasonable doubt on your partner would only lead to breaking up and harm the relationship between both of you. Never check the mobile phone record or email of your partner. This is the basic respect and trust you should have for one another.

3 Household income expectations
There are lots of expenses when a couple lives together. These expenses include the rent, transportation, food, entertainment etc. What kind of living standard after getting married should be discussed in detail in order to avoid mismatch of expectations.

4 Religious beliefs
Respect the religious beliefs of your partner. There is no reason to ask your partner to give up his / her religious belief just because of you. Understanding and respecting the difference in religious beliefs is vital in order to keep a good and long term relationship.

5 Common hobbies
What is the hobby of your partner? If you love outdoor activities a lot but your partner only wishes to read a book in the living room, it will only result in argument and disappointment. It is not saying that you two must have the same hobbies. Sharing is the key, even though you might have different hobbies, you can still share the happiness and joy of your hobbies to your partner. Let him / her know more of you would tight you two closer together.

6 Having children or not
It is important to discuss if you would like to have a child or not before you get married because sometimes it is a great dispute between a married couple. One might be keen to have two to three children but the partner might not want to have one child. Consensus and agreements should be reached before marriage as it is not a right and wrong issues. If you / your partner would like to bring along a child into the marriage, you have to make sure that the children and your partner would accepted each other in order to have a happy family relationship.

7 Happy Sexual relationship
Sex is an important key in enforcing the marriage. However, sometimes a couple is too shy to discuss about it such as how frequent sexual activities should be taken place. This is especially true in places like Hong Kong. What is the best position to give you and your partner the most sexual pleasure? There is no point to avoid discussions on this issue.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Jerry Leung is a wedding invitation designer based in Hong Kong. Leung has a great interest in Chinese Style Wedding Invitations. He designed different Unique wedding invitation. He also runs websites for Wedding Tips and Wedding Vendor Directory

Monday, June 25, 2007

Six Simple Fast Ways To Save A Marriage

By: Brandon Hong

Let's face it, no relationship is perfect. At some point, even the best suited of couples will find themselves having difficult times. Each marriage has its share of ups and downs, but can still be a satisfying and happy relationship if both partners want it to be. If you're currently experiencing problems and wonder if they can be worked out, just remember that there are many ways to solve marriage issues.

One of the best marriage advice is to start communicating more effectively. Poor communication is a major reason any relationship fails. If you don't know how to fix what's wrong in your communication skills, try buying some books or look for local self-improvement classes. Many talk about improving communication, and you might even find one about the many ways to save a marriage!

Another way to save a marriage is to curb your criticism. Even if you're upset with your spouse, there are many ways to express your feelings, and some are more effective than others. When it comes to the marriage tips, yelling and nagging are not among the recommendations. Share your feelings, but only in positive and constructive ways. Hurtful criticism will never help.

One way to save a marriage that isn't as talked about sometimes is the need for a private life. While you share your life with someone you love, you will have many interests and friends in common. But having friends and interests of your own is healthy and can go a long way to building a successful marriage.

Taking care of yourself is another way to save a marriage. When you take time to do something for yourself to get physically fit or take classes to improve your self-esteem, it can only enhance your relationship. Feeling better about yourself makes life better all around.

Individual and couples therapy are also positive ways to build healthy marriages. Sometimes it really helps to talk to an objective third party, someone who's trained to recognize destructive patterns in relationships. Therapists can offer advice on many tips to save a marriage, even a relationship with serious problems.

A valuable way to solve marriage problems is for both partners to commit to being completely honest with each other. Secrets and lies are no way to save a marriage; they can only hurt or undermine trust. It can be scary opening up and completely trusting, but it's one sure fire way to strengthen the intimacy of any relationship.

So what are the ways to solve marriage problems? There are many, but if you're committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to work through the problems that arise, then you'll benefit from any way to save a marriage that you choose.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Put an End to the Stress and Anxiety of Not Knowing What to Do to Save Your Troubled Marriage! Get proven marriage tips and advice today. www.ways-to-save-a-marriage.info