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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Achieving Happy Relationships: 5 Ingredients For The Mix

By: Bill Urell

It is proven in the field of medicine that tender loving care can heal minor illnesses such as colds or fever. TLC (tender loving care) can be attributed to love and it can also be directly relative to harmonious and happy relationships. Happy and meaningful relationships, may it be with friends or family or may it be platonic, romantic, etc. can really have a direct impact to your health.

One proven study from University of Virginia revealed that women whose husbands are emotionally involved in the relationships have happier marriages. It has also been found out that women craved more affection, time and understanding from their husbands than tangible things. Another study from Cornell University showed that those who are in committed and romantic relationships are happier than those who are not.

We are not dealing solely with romantic relationships. They are only one of the numerous kinds of relationships which can make people happy. Happy relationships are the product of a person's state of mind. You may be into a relationship, but you can choose to be, or not to be happy. Here are some ingredients needed to be incorporated into happy relationships:

1. Have a positive attitude! Face it, being a pessimist affects your whole being. How can you be happy when you have negative thinking and a bad attitude? You cannot build a happy relationship if there is no love within you. Start the day right! Smile and seize the day! Treasure every moment that passes and enjoy! Get a hobby, go into sports and go through all the things that you are really fond of.

2. Always remember that happiness is not a future state. Many of us relate happiness to getting a good paying job, a handsome husband, a hot car and a beautiful home in the near future; but these things are not necessary in achieving happy relationships. Cultivate the attitude of life appreciation. Be contented with what and who you are involved at present. Appreciate and savor each moment and always remember that you are blessed.

3. Do something useful. You can feel your importance when you are engaged in worthwhile activities. People often feel happy when they have contributed to the development of a community or a person's growth. Building small acts of kindness like giving up your seat on the bus can be a good way to achieve a feeling of worth. You can join the church choir, clean drive or engage in any social or volunteer work that can increase your feeling of self worth.

4. Examine the alternatives. One of the differences between a happy and an unhappy person is that the former choose to have fun! Options are endless; it's just a matter of choice. Cultivating friends, increasing fun filled activities and just talking to a neighbor can lead to happiness when done with a light heart and happy disposition. There is also a study that persons who use computers are less likely to be sad than those people who don't. (Don't ask me why!).

5. Build a close relationship with God. Having a spiritual life and a healthy respect for the world around you, can lead to contentment, and serenity which can all lead to happiness. Relationships can be nurtured, new friends can be welcomed and arguments will be lessened if there is a closer relationship with the Supreme Being.

Happiness is a state of mind; it starts within oneself. A wife can choose to have a happy married life or ruin it by thinking about future problems that may not occur. Decide to be happy now because future is yet to come. As Abraham Lincoln puts it 'you are as happy as you make up your mind to be'. With a little mutual work happy relationships are achievable.

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Pick up your Free Recovery Rolodex, Over 97 pages of self help and recovery tips, resources and links to enhance your life in addiction recovery.The author, Bill Urell MA.CAAP-II, is an addictions therapist at a leading drug addiction treatment center. He teaches healthy life styles and life skills. Tell your story! Visit: www.AddictionRecoveryBasics.com