Are You Complacent And Ignoring These Common Signs of Marriage Problems?

By: Brandon Hong

All couples go through difficult times, when outside pressures just get the better of them and things start to go badly at home, and they aren't necessarily signs of problems in the marriage. Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules and career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. So how can you tell if these problems are typical, or indeed are early warning signals of marriage problems that might be cause for concern?

Let's look at these common signs of marriage and relationship issues:

a) Complacency
Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of potential problems in a marriage is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say "I love you" can all be signs of marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis.

b) Decreased physical intimacy
If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be another sign of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems call all take it's toll on a couple's sex drive, and doesn't necessary equate to marriage problems. However, if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it could mean a sign of a marriage problem that needs to be addressed.

c) Avoiding conflict
In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be a signal of problems in a marriage.

d) Need to win
When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage issue or marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, and requires teamwork. There should be no winning and losing in a marriage, only cooperation and working toward shared goals. If you aren't doing this, you may be showing signs of problems in your marriage.

e) Considering an affair
If one or both of you are considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you are showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what is missing in your relationship, and work out some ways to rekindle the romance and stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating. So think long and hard before you go down that road.

f) Separate vacations, separate lives
If you find you and your spouse making plans without each other, whether it's separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage issues or problems. It shows you could be drifting apart without both parties realizing. Remember that you are a couple, and that comes first, and you can nip these signs of marriage problems in the bud.

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

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How To Get Back With Ex - Maturity Matters

By: Andres Berger

The underlying cause for the break up of any relationship is the lack of ability to sustain a lasting relationship on the part of one or both of the people involved and the basic underlying cause of this inability is immaturity.

To be mature as a human being means one is fully developed as a person and in a state of readiness to pursue something of value. A mature person has reached a plateau from where one sees self in relationship to others. He or she possesses the qualities needed to build a relationship based on common interests and possesses the willingness to grow and expand ones knowledge of self and another.

A mature person seeks a relationship, in which he or she can love another with an uncompromising love. To seek a relationship is to seek someone to love. When seeking a relationship has as its goal "to be loved", the relationship is already on a rocky path. Reconciliation may not be a wise pursuit.

The mature person refuses to be an enabler and refuses from the beginning to compromise in order to gain the love of another. We sometimes call love, physical attraction and attention from another, but this is not Love. Often it is under the pretense of gaining love.

When someone says, I love you; this may or may not be a true statement, although both parties may believe it at the time, because they unconsciously or even consciously crave love. This statement may simply mean I like the feeling I get when you ..., whatever it is you do for him or her. Those relationships in which both persons have reached a level of maturity, which allows them to communicate effectively in word, deed and moments of silence, are lasting relationships.

In considering, whether you should pursue rebuilding a broken relationship with an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, consider honestly the type of relationship you had. When is the last time you and your ex glanced across a crowded room and in that brief eye encounter both knew this as an exchange of mutual love. When is the last time you said to your ex, "Don't plan on cooking tonight, I am taking you someplace special for dinner and then to the theater"? When is the last time your ex did something really special for you just because of her love for you?

How often have you proven your love simply by cleaning off the dinner table and sharing chores just to spend time in her presence? When is the last time your ex came and sat down beside you while you were watching a football game just to be with you, although she dislikes football? Was your relationship a mature relationship?

Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com

Copyright 2007 - Andres Berger gives advice on How To Get Back With Ex and also operates a very popular newsletter on How To Get Your Ex Back