By Guardian Angel
Many would think that marrying a best friend has a better chance to be successful, mainly because friends are like diamonds, they are forever. While this can be true, marriage is very much different with friendship. So before assuming that you are very lucky to be married to your best friend, I suggest you check out these potential problems that may arise:
Wrong feelings
It looks like very rewarding that you have the best of both worlds: friendship and love. However, you may be just confused with your feelings. Loving each other is totally different with being in love with each other. You have to talk about it seriously to make sure that you know what you will be up to. If you fail to do so, you will loose your best friend which is very painful.
Shorter period of adjustment
While it is true that knowing each other very well can help a marriage to be successful, it may also be the other way around. Take note that you will now be living in one roof, and there are still some details that you do not know about each other while you were still friends. The sad part is that they may even be the opposite of the things you thought you already know.
Overconfident
Since you will have a shorter period of adjustment, you might be overconfident with your feelings. You will not even think that there will be a possibility of betrayal. However, you must remember that too much trust can also be harmful. Therefore it is very important that you keep on sharing each others thought, just like before.
Lack of romance
Best friends always want to talk to each other, sharing thoughts and have some vacation. However, romance may not be always present and this might lessen your feelings for each other. You will tend to forget to be passionate with each other which can make the love die. Romance adds life to have a successful marriage, but it is feels weird to be romantic to your best friend.
No one to run to
If you have a personal problem, you consult your best friend. If you will have a problem with your best friend turned spouse, who will you run to? Having your best friend as your spouse does not necessarily mean you will not have problems. In fact, it may be one of the reasons of your misunderstanding. This is because you are being caught between friends and lovers.
Best friends no more
As you go along, being married will be much greater than being friends. There will be responsibilities that are for husband and wife only like raising children and working hard for the family. Even before you notice it, your friendship will be just a memory to cherish. Do not allow this to happen because in the first place, it is the friendship that led to the deeper relationship.
Close friends are always open to each other. Lovers should always be close to each other.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
I am a Filipino engineer who recently found himself more comfortable in writing letters instead of numbers, and interacting with humans rather than machines. Now, I love to learn more, share more, and earn more through my Successful Marriage Tips.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Attention New Moms: What To Do When Your Husband Becomes A Stranger
By Salena Kulkarni
Moms, we are not in this new motherhood thing alone, men have to deal with it too. Really, they aren't getting the easy end of the deal either. They may not have had to give birth physically, but emotionally they are pretty level with us. Because becoming a new dad is just as tough as becoming a new mom, parenting can lead to difficulties for a couple.
Most couples will tell you that they were surprised about the impact having a baby had on their relationship. It really doesn't matter how well planned things were, or how much communication goes on before the birth of the child, there really is no way to prepare for the change that new parenthood has on a couple. As important as it is to figure out who you are as a woman after you become a mom, it is also important that you and your husband make sure you stay connected to each other.
The couple issues that are normally present in new parent relationships include differences in libido, finger pointing, and frustration. Sex is an issue because women can become afraid of sex, or their sex drives can decrease after giving birth. Reduced libido is a complex issue, but can occur as a result of poor self image or fatigue just to name two. For your husband this reduced libido is a point of frustration because he still finds you desirable, and it can be upsetting that his sexual feelings are not reciprocated. These types of issues can often lead to finger pointing and irritation because something about parenthood seems to highlight the other person's flaws.
Many new moms say that when junior arrives every flaw your spouse has is suddenly outlined in neon yellow and equipped with a siren. If your husband knows you at all, he will sense your irritation and this can often make him feel defensive and inadequate as a dad. Just keep reminding yourself that being a new dad is just as difficult as being a new mom. Frustration exists on both sides, and right now most of the world is focused on the baby. There is little time alone for the two of you and when you are together, you can spend a lot of time complaining and judging.
As many couples do survive and stay together (often happily) after having a baby, there has to be a way to make your relationship better during this tough time...
... there is!!
You need to reconnect with each other. You both need to want to make your relationship better. You both need to be realistic in what you expect from one another and you need to talk to each other openly and honestly. Tell each other what you want and what you need and really hear what your spouse is telling you.
For as much as becoming a new mom is about the baby it is also about the marriage. Date each other again regularly. Make it a set time and day and treat it as an urgent meeting. Take turns to organize something and surprise the other. This could be as simple as a picnic lunch in your back yard while the baby is taking a nap (which is what baby monitors were invented for).
Take a bath together before going to bed, or give each other a massage, but whatever you do, find a way to both relax and give yourselves intimate time alone just holding each other. The bottom line is you have to freshen and refuel the relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Salena Kulkarni is the creator of www.NewMommyMentor.com, and has just released a free audio on how new moms can feel energized, get back in shape, eliminate emotional overwhelm, and experience the amazing fulfillment of motherhood in 30 days or less!
Moms, we are not in this new motherhood thing alone, men have to deal with it too. Really, they aren't getting the easy end of the deal either. They may not have had to give birth physically, but emotionally they are pretty level with us. Because becoming a new dad is just as tough as becoming a new mom, parenting can lead to difficulties for a couple.
Most couples will tell you that they were surprised about the impact having a baby had on their relationship. It really doesn't matter how well planned things were, or how much communication goes on before the birth of the child, there really is no way to prepare for the change that new parenthood has on a couple. As important as it is to figure out who you are as a woman after you become a mom, it is also important that you and your husband make sure you stay connected to each other.
The couple issues that are normally present in new parent relationships include differences in libido, finger pointing, and frustration. Sex is an issue because women can become afraid of sex, or their sex drives can decrease after giving birth. Reduced libido is a complex issue, but can occur as a result of poor self image or fatigue just to name two. For your husband this reduced libido is a point of frustration because he still finds you desirable, and it can be upsetting that his sexual feelings are not reciprocated. These types of issues can often lead to finger pointing and irritation because something about parenthood seems to highlight the other person's flaws.
Many new moms say that when junior arrives every flaw your spouse has is suddenly outlined in neon yellow and equipped with a siren. If your husband knows you at all, he will sense your irritation and this can often make him feel defensive and inadequate as a dad. Just keep reminding yourself that being a new dad is just as difficult as being a new mom. Frustration exists on both sides, and right now most of the world is focused on the baby. There is little time alone for the two of you and when you are together, you can spend a lot of time complaining and judging.
As many couples do survive and stay together (often happily) after having a baby, there has to be a way to make your relationship better during this tough time...
... there is!!
You need to reconnect with each other. You both need to want to make your relationship better. You both need to be realistic in what you expect from one another and you need to talk to each other openly and honestly. Tell each other what you want and what you need and really hear what your spouse is telling you.
For as much as becoming a new mom is about the baby it is also about the marriage. Date each other again regularly. Make it a set time and day and treat it as an urgent meeting. Take turns to organize something and surprise the other. This could be as simple as a picnic lunch in your back yard while the baby is taking a nap (which is what baby monitors were invented for).
Take a bath together before going to bed, or give each other a massage, but whatever you do, find a way to both relax and give yourselves intimate time alone just holding each other. The bottom line is you have to freshen and refuel the relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Salena Kulkarni is the creator of www.NewMommyMentor.com, and has just released a free audio on how new moms can feel energized, get back in shape, eliminate emotional overwhelm, and experience the amazing fulfillment of motherhood in 30 days or less!
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