By Rodrigo Rehn
Many people, of all ages, look at marriage not only as the union of two people but as an opportunity to change their relationship or the person that they are getting married to. So many marriages fail because people have an idea of what marriage will do for them and their relationship. If you could avoid these pitfalls you could avoid getting married for the wrong reasons, which might allow for you to get married for the right reasons and really make it work.
It won't change your relationship if it is already dysfunctional. The only difference in the relationship will be that it is a legal union.
Getting married won't keep you or your spouse from cheating. Being married won't make your spouse come home at night if they have a penchant for staying out late now. Being married doesn't force most people to grow up. When you're married you aren't going to change your spouse's basic personality. If your spouse didn't want kids before, they aren't going to want kids now.
Getting married won't change the past. If your spouse is abusive, chances are they will continue to be abusive once you get married. When you're married your spouse will not instantly understand you or your emotions any better than they did before. Getting married won't fix everything, in fact it may just complicate things further.
Many people assume that when they get married that a switch is flipped and all is well, but this is not the case. There is this build up to being married with the wedding and the reception and all of the plans that go along with it, but once this is over it is actually quite anti-climactic. The reason that it is anti-climactic is because when it's over, everything feels the same and is the same as it was before. Now what?
When you get married you need to know that you are doing it for the right reasons and you need to know that the relationship may never be better than it is right now. Is that something that you can live with?
You need to assume that things will stay exactly like they are now, and when you assume this it will give you a real indication of whether this is the relationship for you. If you are happy with the way things are right now, you need not worry about it, but if you are putting all your hope in how things will be after you get married you will be disappointed if you do get married.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
(my own article directory)
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating for singles.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Viability Of Marriage As An Institution
By Amit Kheterpal
Marriage is an institution they say. Now institution is a place of learning and higher enlightenment. Institution is where the values and the beliefs are instituted into your system. If this is the definition of institution then marriage by definition is where you learn a thousand things and your beliefs are cemented.
Marriage as a way of learning teaches how to co-exist with another person throughout your entire life. You learn to take care of the other person and keeping the well being of the other above yours. Marriage is all about keeping the other person's sensitivities above your own thoughts and feelings.
Marriage is also a family union. You are not only wedded to a person whom you love but you also get wedded to the person's family. In a marriage you try to integrate into your independent existence the other person's families. In a lot of communities and countries marriage is not decided between the individuals but between families because they believe that even though the marriage is between two individuals ultimately it is the families who get related to each other.
Marriage is all about patience and perseverance. It takes immense amount of patience to shed your own habits which you have lived with for a lot many years but also you need to understand the habits of the marriage partner and give that partner a chance to understand you. Your value system may be challenged by the value system of the other person. You may not see eye to eye on a few things but if you have patience things will work out.
In almost all the marriages there may be instances when you will not be able to see eye to eye on a few issues. It is here you need to understand about the other person's perspectives. Patience definitely comes in handy here. Understanding the nature of the other person is also important as that will mean you know almost everything about the partner.
External pressures add to the confusion here. Every now and then friends will say something to you about your partner that will get you frustrated or demoralized. In marriage nothing is more important than the trust. This virtue alone will help you keep the institution of marriage alive.
With all the beliefs and values being incorporated into you in a new fashion makes it all the more reason to believe that marriage is an institution.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The author writes Chinese love horoscope as a method to find true love. He believes in the Chinese astrology and the Chinese love horoscopes.
Marriage is an institution they say. Now institution is a place of learning and higher enlightenment. Institution is where the values and the beliefs are instituted into your system. If this is the definition of institution then marriage by definition is where you learn a thousand things and your beliefs are cemented.
Marriage as a way of learning teaches how to co-exist with another person throughout your entire life. You learn to take care of the other person and keeping the well being of the other above yours. Marriage is all about keeping the other person's sensitivities above your own thoughts and feelings.
Marriage is also a family union. You are not only wedded to a person whom you love but you also get wedded to the person's family. In a marriage you try to integrate into your independent existence the other person's families. In a lot of communities and countries marriage is not decided between the individuals but between families because they believe that even though the marriage is between two individuals ultimately it is the families who get related to each other.
Marriage is all about patience and perseverance. It takes immense amount of patience to shed your own habits which you have lived with for a lot many years but also you need to understand the habits of the marriage partner and give that partner a chance to understand you. Your value system may be challenged by the value system of the other person. You may not see eye to eye on a few things but if you have patience things will work out.
In almost all the marriages there may be instances when you will not be able to see eye to eye on a few issues. It is here you need to understand about the other person's perspectives. Patience definitely comes in handy here. Understanding the nature of the other person is also important as that will mean you know almost everything about the partner.
External pressures add to the confusion here. Every now and then friends will say something to you about your partner that will get you frustrated or demoralized. In marriage nothing is more important than the trust. This virtue alone will help you keep the institution of marriage alive.
With all the beliefs and values being incorporated into you in a new fashion makes it all the more reason to believe that marriage is an institution.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The author writes Chinese love horoscope as a method to find true love. He believes in the Chinese astrology and the Chinese love horoscopes.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The ABCs to a Successful Marriage
By Chris Jensen
Acceptance is the first core value. It's absolutely vital that both partners accept each other the way they are. I have learned to celebrate both my husband's strengths and his weaknesses, but it didn't happen overnight. He (we'll call him Sam) can be a pretty flighty guy. He loses car keys, receipts, and cell phones without fail. He forgets appointments and doesn't read the fine print before he signs his name on something.
As much as I love him, Sam just doesn't care about details. That's who he is. But his brilliant and creative mind are something I love about him, and if you made Sam any less of a free spirit I'm convinced he would lose those traits I love so much. I've learned to accept the good with the bad. Yes, it irritates me when he spaces out, but that's Sam and I love him.
Biting your tongue is the second biggie in our marriage. We fight so little because both of us have learned to fight fair. No name-calling when we fight, and I always try to pause and think of how to phrase my statements in the most diplomatic way possible. For example, instead of "You never spend any time with me!" I'll instead say, "I feel lonely" or "I miss you." I try to stay away from statements that begin "you always" or "you never" at any cost. Those are sure to start a fight I didn't mean to have.
Communication is the third vital part of our marriage. I've learned in my years of marriage that it's amazing how two people who know each other so well can still misunderstand each other. If he's frustrated about something that happened at work, I might misread his body language and think he's mad at me. If I'm sad because a good friend moved away, he might think I'm upset over something he did.
We need to verbalize our feelings and let the other know what's going on with us. Neither of us are mind readers. I've also learned that we take a lot of things for granted and don't bother to spell them out for others because they're just so obvious to us. But in a marriage you need to spell it out.
Just recently Sam and I were going to the mall to shop at J.C. Penney. It was raining so he said, "I'll drop you off at the door." I waited faithfully for 10 minutes by the mall entrance where he dropped me off, and he went straight to J.C. Penney and waited for me at the store entrance. Little communications like that happen with us all the time, just because we don't spell out our expectations.
Try to avoid saying things like, "we don't have enough sex" or "we're spending too much money." Quantify what you mean by subjective terms like 'too much' or 'not enough.' You'll be shocked to learn how differently the two of you see things.
So we've found these three ABCs for a successful marriage, but really they can be applied to any relationship that's important to you. I hope you've learned something from Sam's and my mistakes! Have a great marriage and enjoy each other.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Chris Jensen is a contributing author of Jetfly Blog. For more related articles and views visit Jetfly Marriage & Dating Blog now. Also, for the best up-to-date related online products, check out Jetfly Marriage Book Shop for todays current online deals.
Acceptance is the first core value. It's absolutely vital that both partners accept each other the way they are. I have learned to celebrate both my husband's strengths and his weaknesses, but it didn't happen overnight. He (we'll call him Sam) can be a pretty flighty guy. He loses car keys, receipts, and cell phones without fail. He forgets appointments and doesn't read the fine print before he signs his name on something.
As much as I love him, Sam just doesn't care about details. That's who he is. But his brilliant and creative mind are something I love about him, and if you made Sam any less of a free spirit I'm convinced he would lose those traits I love so much. I've learned to accept the good with the bad. Yes, it irritates me when he spaces out, but that's Sam and I love him.
Biting your tongue is the second biggie in our marriage. We fight so little because both of us have learned to fight fair. No name-calling when we fight, and I always try to pause and think of how to phrase my statements in the most diplomatic way possible. For example, instead of "You never spend any time with me!" I'll instead say, "I feel lonely" or "I miss you." I try to stay away from statements that begin "you always" or "you never" at any cost. Those are sure to start a fight I didn't mean to have.
Communication is the third vital part of our marriage. I've learned in my years of marriage that it's amazing how two people who know each other so well can still misunderstand each other. If he's frustrated about something that happened at work, I might misread his body language and think he's mad at me. If I'm sad because a good friend moved away, he might think I'm upset over something he did.
We need to verbalize our feelings and let the other know what's going on with us. Neither of us are mind readers. I've also learned that we take a lot of things for granted and don't bother to spell them out for others because they're just so obvious to us. But in a marriage you need to spell it out.
Just recently Sam and I were going to the mall to shop at J.C. Penney. It was raining so he said, "I'll drop you off at the door." I waited faithfully for 10 minutes by the mall entrance where he dropped me off, and he went straight to J.C. Penney and waited for me at the store entrance. Little communications like that happen with us all the time, just because we don't spell out our expectations.
Try to avoid saying things like, "we don't have enough sex" or "we're spending too much money." Quantify what you mean by subjective terms like 'too much' or 'not enough.' You'll be shocked to learn how differently the two of you see things.
So we've found these three ABCs for a successful marriage, but really they can be applied to any relationship that's important to you. I hope you've learned something from Sam's and my mistakes! Have a great marriage and enjoy each other.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Chris Jensen is a contributing author of Jetfly Blog. For more related articles and views visit Jetfly Marriage & Dating Blog now. Also, for the best up-to-date related online products, check out Jetfly Marriage Book Shop for todays current online deals.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Stress Can Do Harm To Your Sex Life
By Jerry Leung
Sex is one of the most important parts in our life. However, a recent phenomenon is that there are people who have no sex even if they have married. In fact, it can be a serious problem if both of the man and woman are physically healthy.
In most cases the reason for the above phenomenon is the lack in communication. They do not usually talk about the issue of sex. Yet it is very important to communicate about that. As most experts will suggest, communication and interaction is the most important for a couple. It is also true when the issue of sex is considered.
One thing you may know is that stress can also be a reason. People nowadays are too busy. We are busy at work everyday. We may think about our work even if we have gone home. In some countries, people will spend more than half of their time in the office. From this you will probably know that how stressful we are.
Since we are extremely exhausted, we may not have the desire in sex when we go home. This applies to both man and woman. And eventually the phenomenon of having no sex even after marriage occurs.
Having no sex will certainly do harm to your relationship. As a matter of fact, it is not healthy for a person to have no sex, if he / she is a physically healthy person. It is very vital to address the importance of sexual health here. It seems that most couples do not consider this issue seriously.
So what should you do if you find that you have lost your desire in sex. The first thing of course is to make sure that it is not any physical problem. You should go to a doctor to check it out.
If you are very busy at work, it is highly probable that you are losing the sex desire because of the stress. If this is the case, you should try your best to be relaxed. Try not to think about things related to your work when you are at home. It is very important to be relaxed when you are making love. Your sex experience will not be a wonderful one if you are not relaxed when you are having sex with your partner.
You should also tell you partner to relaxed. If you can afford the time, you can try to take a vacation with your partner. Your desire in sex may probably be reignite when you are in the hotel room!
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Tips for an Improved Sex Life. Be sure to check the article STD from Sex Toys, as well as Correcting Abnormal Curvature of Penis.
Sex is one of the most important parts in our life. However, a recent phenomenon is that there are people who have no sex even if they have married. In fact, it can be a serious problem if both of the man and woman are physically healthy.
In most cases the reason for the above phenomenon is the lack in communication. They do not usually talk about the issue of sex. Yet it is very important to communicate about that. As most experts will suggest, communication and interaction is the most important for a couple. It is also true when the issue of sex is considered.
One thing you may know is that stress can also be a reason. People nowadays are too busy. We are busy at work everyday. We may think about our work even if we have gone home. In some countries, people will spend more than half of their time in the office. From this you will probably know that how stressful we are.
Since we are extremely exhausted, we may not have the desire in sex when we go home. This applies to both man and woman. And eventually the phenomenon of having no sex even after marriage occurs.
Having no sex will certainly do harm to your relationship. As a matter of fact, it is not healthy for a person to have no sex, if he / she is a physically healthy person. It is very vital to address the importance of sexual health here. It seems that most couples do not consider this issue seriously.
So what should you do if you find that you have lost your desire in sex. The first thing of course is to make sure that it is not any physical problem. You should go to a doctor to check it out.
If you are very busy at work, it is highly probable that you are losing the sex desire because of the stress. If this is the case, you should try your best to be relaxed. Try not to think about things related to your work when you are at home. It is very important to be relaxed when you are making love. Your sex experience will not be a wonderful one if you are not relaxed when you are having sex with your partner.
You should also tell you partner to relaxed. If you can afford the time, you can try to take a vacation with your partner. Your desire in sex may probably be reignite when you are in the hotel room!
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Tips for an Improved Sex Life. Be sure to check the article STD from Sex Toys, as well as Correcting Abnormal Curvature of Penis.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Is My Man Cheating? Whether Cheating Husbands or Cheating Boyfriends, Here's How To Find Out Fast
By Doug Young
Is my man cheating, you're wondering. Whether it's cheating husbands or cheating boyfriends the warning signs and ways to confirm your suspicions are the same. You have that awful feeling that he's up to no good behind your back but you just can't be certain since you've got no proof. You've tried to confront him and his denials just don't seem that convincing.
The truth is, 80% of the people involved in a medium to long-term relationship suspect that their partner is cheating. What's even worse is that 50% of these suspicions turn out to be correct.
So how do I follow up on my suspicions, you may well be asking. Is my man cheating on me, and how do I find out? Here are 7 things you need to be doing and looking out for to get you some quick answers:
1. Your own lie detection test
Cheating husbands and cheating boyfriends more often than not will be telling you a stream of constant lies to cover their tracks. According to the statistics, for every one lie you tell you need to tell at least two more to cover it up. So you can use that to your advantage. Sooner or later he will slip up, and you need to be on the lookout for that.
Always take note of everything your boyfriend or husband has said. For example, if he gets home late one night, ask for the reason and make a note of it. Let a week or two pass then try innocently throwing into the conversation a question about that night and check if his answers are still the same. The important thing here is that every time you have a gut feeling that he's lying, make a mental note of everything he says. You'll be able to use that in the future.
2. Look out for the defensive mode
Cheating partners have a tendency to be in defensive mode. If questions like, "what time will you be home?" or "who were you at lunch with?" makes him overreact, then there's a good chance that he's up to no good.
Another indication is that 'alleged' cheating husbands or cheating boyfriends will try to turn the tables so that you'll feel guilty for asking such questions. The most common retorts are "You really don't trust me do you?", or "Why do you not trust me?"
3. There's no smoke without fire
There are times when you base your suspicions on rumours that you've heard. Some people may tell you that you shouldn't believe in rumours because that's all they are. But rumours have to start somewhere. So if there's a rumour flying around that your man is cheating on you, there's a chance that it could be true.
It's not advisable of course to come to a 100% conclusion that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you basing on rumours. But be aware of them when you're checking out your suspicions.
4. More Talkative Than Usual
Does he talk about a female, perhaps a colleague or a co-worker, more often than usual? This talk does not necessarily need to be all good. It could also be derogatory comments about her when comparing her to you to deliberately throw you off the trail. If this is the case, then there's a chance that he's cheating. Talking about a certain someone all the time means that that person is always in his thoughts. This should certainly give you reasons to be suspicious.
5. Talk to his friends
This is one of the most effective ways to know whether your man is cheating on you or not. Talk to his friends and be inquisitive. This is better done individually than to a group since it's just natural for a friend to try and lookout for his buddy. You ask questions to one of his friends then ask the same questions to another. By doing this, you can see whether their replies are consistent or not.
6. "I'm going on a business trip"
This may be one of the oldest cover up tricks in the book yet it's still one of the most effective even today. It's true of course that certain jobs involve travel but if all of a sudden that becomes more regular or he starts going away on business trips when he never did before you may have good grounds for raising your suspicions.
7. Is my man cheating? The ultimate way to find out.
Hire a private investigator. This is the most effective way to blow the whistle on cheating husbands and cheating boyfriends. This method involves considerable expense so you need to have goods grounds for suspicion in the first place and also you need to be prepared for the truth.
There's a big difference emotionally between suspecting that your man is cheating on you and knowing for sure that he is. So you need to be ready for that.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Get our free reports Tell Tale Signs That Your Partner Might Be Lying To You and How To Cope When You Discover Your Partner's Affair These reports are part of a free 8 part mini series on dealing with infidelity in your relationship or marriage created by Relationship Coaches Doug and Chris Young
Is my man cheating, you're wondering. Whether it's cheating husbands or cheating boyfriends the warning signs and ways to confirm your suspicions are the same. You have that awful feeling that he's up to no good behind your back but you just can't be certain since you've got no proof. You've tried to confront him and his denials just don't seem that convincing.
The truth is, 80% of the people involved in a medium to long-term relationship suspect that their partner is cheating. What's even worse is that 50% of these suspicions turn out to be correct.
So how do I follow up on my suspicions, you may well be asking. Is my man cheating on me, and how do I find out? Here are 7 things you need to be doing and looking out for to get you some quick answers:
1. Your own lie detection test
Cheating husbands and cheating boyfriends more often than not will be telling you a stream of constant lies to cover their tracks. According to the statistics, for every one lie you tell you need to tell at least two more to cover it up. So you can use that to your advantage. Sooner or later he will slip up, and you need to be on the lookout for that.
Always take note of everything your boyfriend or husband has said. For example, if he gets home late one night, ask for the reason and make a note of it. Let a week or two pass then try innocently throwing into the conversation a question about that night and check if his answers are still the same. The important thing here is that every time you have a gut feeling that he's lying, make a mental note of everything he says. You'll be able to use that in the future.
2. Look out for the defensive mode
Cheating partners have a tendency to be in defensive mode. If questions like, "what time will you be home?" or "who were you at lunch with?" makes him overreact, then there's a good chance that he's up to no good.
Another indication is that 'alleged' cheating husbands or cheating boyfriends will try to turn the tables so that you'll feel guilty for asking such questions. The most common retorts are "You really don't trust me do you?", or "Why do you not trust me?"
3. There's no smoke without fire
There are times when you base your suspicions on rumours that you've heard. Some people may tell you that you shouldn't believe in rumours because that's all they are. But rumours have to start somewhere. So if there's a rumour flying around that your man is cheating on you, there's a chance that it could be true.
It's not advisable of course to come to a 100% conclusion that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you basing on rumours. But be aware of them when you're checking out your suspicions.
4. More Talkative Than Usual
Does he talk about a female, perhaps a colleague or a co-worker, more often than usual? This talk does not necessarily need to be all good. It could also be derogatory comments about her when comparing her to you to deliberately throw you off the trail. If this is the case, then there's a chance that he's cheating. Talking about a certain someone all the time means that that person is always in his thoughts. This should certainly give you reasons to be suspicious.
5. Talk to his friends
This is one of the most effective ways to know whether your man is cheating on you or not. Talk to his friends and be inquisitive. This is better done individually than to a group since it's just natural for a friend to try and lookout for his buddy. You ask questions to one of his friends then ask the same questions to another. By doing this, you can see whether their replies are consistent or not.
6. "I'm going on a business trip"
This may be one of the oldest cover up tricks in the book yet it's still one of the most effective even today. It's true of course that certain jobs involve travel but if all of a sudden that becomes more regular or he starts going away on business trips when he never did before you may have good grounds for raising your suspicions.
7. Is my man cheating? The ultimate way to find out.
Hire a private investigator. This is the most effective way to blow the whistle on cheating husbands and cheating boyfriends. This method involves considerable expense so you need to have goods grounds for suspicion in the first place and also you need to be prepared for the truth.
There's a big difference emotionally between suspecting that your man is cheating on you and knowing for sure that he is. So you need to be ready for that.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Get our free reports Tell Tale Signs That Your Partner Might Be Lying To You and How To Cope When You Discover Your Partner's Affair These reports are part of a free 8 part mini series on dealing with infidelity in your relationship or marriage created by Relationship Coaches Doug and Chris Young
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Lifetime Sex Relationship with Your Partner
By Jerry Leung
There are not much discussions on the sex life for people who are in their later years of lives. In fact, even elderly couples may have an excellent sex life.
There are a lot of misconceptions regarding sex for seniors. For example there are people saying that elderly will not want sex and they will not have sex. They just think that old people should never have sex. As a result, they will tend to believe that sex are only for young people. There are even some people believe that if old people think about sex, they are really dirty in their mind!
It can be sure that the above are all misconceptions. The truth is that human beings will need sexual lives even when they are old. We will need sex relationship with our partner for a lifetime!
As a matter of fact, surveys showing that elderly people think that sex is something very important. Of course they may only consider sex relationship with the partner. And the idea of casual sex simply does not apply to this situation. In fact, even people who are in their 80s think that sex relationship with the partner is very important.
However, we have to accept the truth that our bodies changes with time. We will especially realize this in the later years of our lives.
Taking a woman for example, it will probably take longer time for a senior woman to have her vagina lubricated. This is probably linking to the menopause. As you may be well aware, you may feel painful if it is not fully lubricated. As a result, you may need to apply some water based lubricants. Longer foreplay will also help. And most importantly, you should have intercourse from time to time!
On the other hand, an elderly man may find that it takes longer time for the penis to be totally erected. As in the case of a woman, a longer foreplay will greatly help. Of course you should try to be relaxed. You will find it will be worse if you cannot be relaxed. You may also try different sex positions since this will probably give you extra stimulation.
One last thing is that, making love or having sex is not something identical to having sexual intercourse. Things like kissing, oral sex or mutual masturbation can also give you pleasure and satisfaction. You will be have great sexual experience if you do not focus on intercourse only, even if you are a older person.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Better Sex Tips for Women, as well as Men. Be sure to check the article Tip on Best Sex Positions during Pregnancy, as well as Penis Enlargement Tips.
There are not much discussions on the sex life for people who are in their later years of lives. In fact, even elderly couples may have an excellent sex life.
There are a lot of misconceptions regarding sex for seniors. For example there are people saying that elderly will not want sex and they will not have sex. They just think that old people should never have sex. As a result, they will tend to believe that sex are only for young people. There are even some people believe that if old people think about sex, they are really dirty in their mind!
It can be sure that the above are all misconceptions. The truth is that human beings will need sexual lives even when they are old. We will need sex relationship with our partner for a lifetime!
As a matter of fact, surveys showing that elderly people think that sex is something very important. Of course they may only consider sex relationship with the partner. And the idea of casual sex simply does not apply to this situation. In fact, even people who are in their 80s think that sex relationship with the partner is very important.
However, we have to accept the truth that our bodies changes with time. We will especially realize this in the later years of our lives.
Taking a woman for example, it will probably take longer time for a senior woman to have her vagina lubricated. This is probably linking to the menopause. As you may be well aware, you may feel painful if it is not fully lubricated. As a result, you may need to apply some water based lubricants. Longer foreplay will also help. And most importantly, you should have intercourse from time to time!
On the other hand, an elderly man may find that it takes longer time for the penis to be totally erected. As in the case of a woman, a longer foreplay will greatly help. Of course you should try to be relaxed. You will find it will be worse if you cannot be relaxed. You may also try different sex positions since this will probably give you extra stimulation.
One last thing is that, making love or having sex is not something identical to having sexual intercourse. Things like kissing, oral sex or mutual masturbation can also give you pleasure and satisfaction. You will be have great sexual experience if you do not focus on intercourse only, even if you are a older person.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Better Sex Tips for Women, as well as Men. Be sure to check the article Tip on Best Sex Positions during Pregnancy, as well as Penis Enlargement Tips.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Marriage - Companionship Or A Love Affair
By Kenneth Scott
A marriage is like any relationship and has its good times and bad, its agreements and disagreements. No one can expect everything to be wonderful at every minute of the day when two people from different backgrounds and with different feelings and expectations live together. Some marriages have serious problems that must be resolved through concentrated effort or even therapy, but most marriages just become boring over time.
When considering problems in a marriage, it is critical to think about what exactly is causing the conflict or uneasiness before taking any action. In many marriages, the excitement of first love tends to fade with time. This does not mean that the partners love each other any less. It just means that they need some stimulation to remember and maintain the feelings they used to have for one another. The stimulation is often referred to as romance. Many individuals think that a marriage that appears ordinary lacks love, but this is untrue. Most marriages lack romance. While love is an easy and peaceful feeling, romance is the element that makes a relationship hot!
Everyone in any kind of personal relationship wants passion and romance. However, there are some things about romance that people do not understand. The most common difficulty in creating romance is that people do not know how to accomplish it. Sometime, they are stuck in societal classifications, and their partners cannot appreciate them for their unique qualities. As a result, people often just give up on finding romance.
Today, when we are accustomed to convenience and having everything happen at the touch of a button, making an effort to create romance seems too difficult. However, you can take some really old-fashioned ideas about romance and make them work in our modern world. Romance in the 21st century can be alive with innovative ideas, passion, and creativity. Romance refers to the way you express your love for another, and it is necessary if you want to keep your love exciting and new. Without romance, love can become tiresome. Expressing your love through romance only works when it occurs without ulterior motives. Romance should only be initiated in order to show your love and appreciation for your partner.
Think of romance as an artistic creation rather than as a science. Individuals who feel they must compete in everything they do must eliminate that attitude when attempting to create romance. Love and romance should not be a contest where one partner or another strives to win. Romance requires cooperation, but you can be romantic while retaining your individuality. Love and romance can transform you and your partner into perfect companions.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
To find more information and advise about relationships and marriage visit marriage-directory.com
A marriage is like any relationship and has its good times and bad, its agreements and disagreements. No one can expect everything to be wonderful at every minute of the day when two people from different backgrounds and with different feelings and expectations live together. Some marriages have serious problems that must be resolved through concentrated effort or even therapy, but most marriages just become boring over time.
When considering problems in a marriage, it is critical to think about what exactly is causing the conflict or uneasiness before taking any action. In many marriages, the excitement of first love tends to fade with time. This does not mean that the partners love each other any less. It just means that they need some stimulation to remember and maintain the feelings they used to have for one another. The stimulation is often referred to as romance. Many individuals think that a marriage that appears ordinary lacks love, but this is untrue. Most marriages lack romance. While love is an easy and peaceful feeling, romance is the element that makes a relationship hot!
Everyone in any kind of personal relationship wants passion and romance. However, there are some things about romance that people do not understand. The most common difficulty in creating romance is that people do not know how to accomplish it. Sometime, they are stuck in societal classifications, and their partners cannot appreciate them for their unique qualities. As a result, people often just give up on finding romance.
Today, when we are accustomed to convenience and having everything happen at the touch of a button, making an effort to create romance seems too difficult. However, you can take some really old-fashioned ideas about romance and make them work in our modern world. Romance in the 21st century can be alive with innovative ideas, passion, and creativity. Romance refers to the way you express your love for another, and it is necessary if you want to keep your love exciting and new. Without romance, love can become tiresome. Expressing your love through romance only works when it occurs without ulterior motives. Romance should only be initiated in order to show your love and appreciation for your partner.
Think of romance as an artistic creation rather than as a science. Individuals who feel they must compete in everything they do must eliminate that attitude when attempting to create romance. Love and romance should not be a contest where one partner or another strives to win. Romance requires cooperation, but you can be romantic while retaining your individuality. Love and romance can transform you and your partner into perfect companions.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
To find more information and advise about relationships and marriage visit marriage-directory.com
In Lack of Sexual Desire - What Are The Reasons?
By Jerry Leung
Sex life is very important for a relationship. It may lead to problems in your relationship if you are not satisfied with your sex life. It will be even worse if you find that you are in lack of sexual desire. As a result, we should try to find out the cause of the problem when it happens.
In fact, the problem can be due to both physical and psychological reasons. The lack of libido of women can be a problem. It is found that generally the lack of sexual desire happens more often to women than men. Some women will feel guilt after sex. If this happens, communication is one of the best ways to cure. As a man, you have to understand what your lady feel and think. It is important to know that a good relationship can make a lady feel more relaxed when having sex. And this may also arouse the sex interest of the lady. In return, the chance of losing sexual desire for the woman will be lower.
There are also other reasons that can lead to the lack in sexual desire. As mentioned, one of the reasons can be the communication of the couple. The lack of communication can lead to the problem of having no sexual desire. Another reason can be the anxiety about sex. People will tend to have no interest in sex if they have some unpleasant experience about sex before. If this is the case, you may even need to seek for the help of a psychologist.
Some people will have no interest in sex because of the fear of being infected by sexually transmitted diseases. If you find that you partner has this problem, you can try to explain him or her about safe sex. Urge them to use condoms as protection. If he or she is your one and only one sex partner, you should also tell this to him or her so that there will be less anxiety about STDs infection. Besides the above, the pressure at work can also lead to the problem of having no sexual desire. Try to tell him / her to be relaxed and do not think too much about the work if this happens.
Again, the best solution to cure the problem of having no sexual desire is always communication. In fact, communication can greatly enhance the relationship of the partners. And a great relationship will certainly lead to a great sex life!
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Sex Positions Free Videos and Lovemaking video. Be sure to check the article How to Avoid being Infected with STD from Sex Toys, as well as What is The Best Way to Enhance Penis Size.
Sex life is very important for a relationship. It may lead to problems in your relationship if you are not satisfied with your sex life. It will be even worse if you find that you are in lack of sexual desire. As a result, we should try to find out the cause of the problem when it happens.
In fact, the problem can be due to both physical and psychological reasons. The lack of libido of women can be a problem. It is found that generally the lack of sexual desire happens more often to women than men. Some women will feel guilt after sex. If this happens, communication is one of the best ways to cure. As a man, you have to understand what your lady feel and think. It is important to know that a good relationship can make a lady feel more relaxed when having sex. And this may also arouse the sex interest of the lady. In return, the chance of losing sexual desire for the woman will be lower.
There are also other reasons that can lead to the lack in sexual desire. As mentioned, one of the reasons can be the communication of the couple. The lack of communication can lead to the problem of having no sexual desire. Another reason can be the anxiety about sex. People will tend to have no interest in sex if they have some unpleasant experience about sex before. If this is the case, you may even need to seek for the help of a psychologist.
Some people will have no interest in sex because of the fear of being infected by sexually transmitted diseases. If you find that you partner has this problem, you can try to explain him or her about safe sex. Urge them to use condoms as protection. If he or she is your one and only one sex partner, you should also tell this to him or her so that there will be less anxiety about STDs infection. Besides the above, the pressure at work can also lead to the problem of having no sexual desire. Try to tell him / her to be relaxed and do not think too much about the work if this happens.
Again, the best solution to cure the problem of having no sexual desire is always communication. In fact, communication can greatly enhance the relationship of the partners. And a great relationship will certainly lead to a great sex life!
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Author has a site on Sex Positions Free Videos and Lovemaking video. Be sure to check the article How to Avoid being Infected with STD from Sex Toys, as well as What is The Best Way to Enhance Penis Size.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Maintaining a Passion-filled Marriage
By Rickie Smith
If you were to ask couples what's the best way for maintaining a passion-filled marriage it comes as no surprise to find that a lot of them believe that passion alone is the answer. They seem not to understand the need to balance out the emotional aspect of a marriage with the physical aspect of it.
You can't expect any spouse to have passion for his mate all the time. However, if couples focus on the way they feel about each other, in general it will be much easier to maintain the passion.
Many people think of marriage as being a state where two people who fall in love care about each other, and will live out their lives together until death do them part.
This is the ideal situation of course, but there are some marriages where the couple has gotten married for other reasons, and sometimes the wrong reasons. In these types of marriages there is often very little contact and sincere communication between the couple. This often results in a sexless marriage.
The key to maintaining a passion-filled marriage is totally honest with each other. Most couples will find that the desire for sex will comes and go but in order to be successful they must consider the things that they do both in and out of the bedroom.
Men and women must accept the fact that relationships change over time as our children take center stage in our lives and daily household responsibilities overwhelm us.
In many cases romance will give way to irritation and arguments. Here are some of the common reasons passion is lost in a marriage:
The best way for a couple to turn a sexless marriage into a fulfilling marriage is to consistently work on ways to be alone with each other. During these times both spouses must learn to relax and leave the day's stresses behind.
Here are some other things each spouse can do to start turning things around:
Your marriage is worth working on and you must be willing to do everything that you can to maintain your passion-filled marriage. Keep your relationship open and honest so that you both can trust each other and lean on each other for support.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
For more information about Maintaining a Passion-Filled Marriage visit our comprehensive websites at "Preventing a Divorce, Saving and Maintaining a Marriage", "Romantic Ideas for Couples", or "Marriage Counseling"
If you were to ask couples what's the best way for maintaining a passion-filled marriage it comes as no surprise to find that a lot of them believe that passion alone is the answer. They seem not to understand the need to balance out the emotional aspect of a marriage with the physical aspect of it.
You can't expect any spouse to have passion for his mate all the time. However, if couples focus on the way they feel about each other, in general it will be much easier to maintain the passion.
Many people think of marriage as being a state where two people who fall in love care about each other, and will live out their lives together until death do them part.
This is the ideal situation of course, but there are some marriages where the couple has gotten married for other reasons, and sometimes the wrong reasons. In these types of marriages there is often very little contact and sincere communication between the couple. This often results in a sexless marriage.
The key to maintaining a passion-filled marriage is totally honest with each other. Most couples will find that the desire for sex will comes and go but in order to be successful they must consider the things that they do both in and out of the bedroom.
Men and women must accept the fact that relationships change over time as our children take center stage in our lives and daily household responsibilities overwhelm us.
In many cases romance will give way to irritation and arguments. Here are some of the common reasons passion is lost in a marriage:
- Couples stop listening to each other
- They begin acting like roommates instead of lovers and partners
- Each spouse complain about stress at work and home instead of positive things
- Couples stop seeing and commenting on what they appreciate about their spouse
- One or the other has given up their interests and passions so their lives become all work and therefore no fun
The best way for a couple to turn a sexless marriage into a fulfilling marriage is to consistently work on ways to be alone with each other. During these times both spouses must learn to relax and leave the day's stresses behind.
Here are some other things each spouse can do to start turning things around:
- Remind yourself of why you fell in love and married your mate
- Stop feeling the need to argue and defend yourself
- Identify at least one thing a day to complement your spouse on
- Touch your spouse everyday... start with their hand or back and shoulder
- Bring the humor back into your relationship, learn to laugh at yourself
Your marriage is worth working on and you must be willing to do everything that you can to maintain your passion-filled marriage. Keep your relationship open and honest so that you both can trust each other and lean on each other for support.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
For more information about Maintaining a Passion-Filled Marriage visit our comprehensive websites at "Preventing a Divorce, Saving and Maintaining a Marriage", "Romantic Ideas for Couples", or "Marriage Counseling"
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Healthy Aging and Marriage
By Max Vogt
Aging is a fact of life; nothing that we do or say can really change this fact. As we all get older, our health is going to change as well; hopefully good health stays with our families and loved ones as long as possible, but sometimes we just aren't that lucky, and fate deals us a different hand than we expected. What exactly are we supposed to do? How should we deal with it?
Some people deal with aging better than others. Are you someone who wants to age gracefully or are you going to put up a fight? Is having your first grey hair or losing your last hair on your head the end of the world or is it going to be a day that you remember for the rest of your life?
If you have a spouse or long-term partner, you may notice that they are growing older. We often don't notice that we are getting older ourselves. In your partner you might see it on the number of hairs in his comb; the number of pairs of pants that she can't get into; or the new wrinkle that she had whenever she smiles is now on her face all the time now, even when she isn't smiling.
I have one client who is having a disagreement on what they think is the best way to age. Take a look at their story, and tell me what you think.
Bob and Kelly
Bob and Kelly have been married for more years than Kelly would admit it. In fact, if you subtracted the years that they were married from how old Kelly claims she is, she and Bob would have gotten married when Kelly was only 12. Kelly goes to the spa every week, won't step outside the door without a hat for fear of wrinkles and wants to get cosmetic surgery to make her face and body look even younger.
Bob says that she loves Kelly for the way that she is, and that she doesn't want her to change the way she looks too drastically, especially with something that has risks involved with it and could possibly be dangerous.
What do you think about this? Have you or your friends had an experience like this, where one person in the couple wants to stay young, while the other wants to just let nature take your course? This may not just include getting plastic surgery done or spa days, but can include getting a toupee, buying a fast sports car on your 50th birthday, dating a much younger man (or woman), or just trying to hang out more with your adult children and their friends.
If you are worried about the way that you are aging, one thing that might help is the Intimacy Paradox. This paradox is something that I've been sharing with my private clients for years. The principle is pretty easy to understand, and says that if you want to have a great marriage, you need to accept yourself 100% and you need to accept your partner 100% for who they are right now. If you plan on changing yourself or your partner when you (or they) don't want to, you will end up having resentment in your relationship.
Do you think that the Intimacy Paradox would work in Bob and Kelly's relationship? Would it work in yours? 100% acceptance of yourself and your partner may seem like it is difficult to do; what do you think that the most difficult thing to accept about your partner is going to be? Is there something that you don't think that you could accept about your partner?
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
For a Free, Confidential, Personalized Great Relationship Love Quiz (retail value: $49.95) go to Relationship Quiz at www.AskDoctorMax.com Find out what your Marriage Blueprints(TM) are.
Aging is a fact of life; nothing that we do or say can really change this fact. As we all get older, our health is going to change as well; hopefully good health stays with our families and loved ones as long as possible, but sometimes we just aren't that lucky, and fate deals us a different hand than we expected. What exactly are we supposed to do? How should we deal with it?
Some people deal with aging better than others. Are you someone who wants to age gracefully or are you going to put up a fight? Is having your first grey hair or losing your last hair on your head the end of the world or is it going to be a day that you remember for the rest of your life?
If you have a spouse or long-term partner, you may notice that they are growing older. We often don't notice that we are getting older ourselves. In your partner you might see it on the number of hairs in his comb; the number of pairs of pants that she can't get into; or the new wrinkle that she had whenever she smiles is now on her face all the time now, even when she isn't smiling.
I have one client who is having a disagreement on what they think is the best way to age. Take a look at their story, and tell me what you think.
Bob and Kelly
Bob and Kelly have been married for more years than Kelly would admit it. In fact, if you subtracted the years that they were married from how old Kelly claims she is, she and Bob would have gotten married when Kelly was only 12. Kelly goes to the spa every week, won't step outside the door without a hat for fear of wrinkles and wants to get cosmetic surgery to make her face and body look even younger.
Bob says that she loves Kelly for the way that she is, and that she doesn't want her to change the way she looks too drastically, especially with something that has risks involved with it and could possibly be dangerous.
What do you think about this? Have you or your friends had an experience like this, where one person in the couple wants to stay young, while the other wants to just let nature take your course? This may not just include getting plastic surgery done or spa days, but can include getting a toupee, buying a fast sports car on your 50th birthday, dating a much younger man (or woman), or just trying to hang out more with your adult children and their friends.
If you are worried about the way that you are aging, one thing that might help is the Intimacy Paradox. This paradox is something that I've been sharing with my private clients for years. The principle is pretty easy to understand, and says that if you want to have a great marriage, you need to accept yourself 100% and you need to accept your partner 100% for who they are right now. If you plan on changing yourself or your partner when you (or they) don't want to, you will end up having resentment in your relationship.
Do you think that the Intimacy Paradox would work in Bob and Kelly's relationship? Would it work in yours? 100% acceptance of yourself and your partner may seem like it is difficult to do; what do you think that the most difficult thing to accept about your partner is going to be? Is there something that you don't think that you could accept about your partner?
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
For a Free, Confidential, Personalized Great Relationship Love Quiz (retail value: $49.95) go to Relationship Quiz at www.AskDoctorMax.com Find out what your Marriage Blueprints(TM) are.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Rekindling Romance After Having Children
By Rohit Chopra
While children bring great happiness, they also ensure that the lifestyle of their parents is turned on its head. While earlier you may have had the time to nurture your relationship as a couple, once the children arrive, this effectively takes a back seat. All the passion and fire that once was the envy of your acquaintances disappears under stacks of nappies. A child demands constant attention, which leaves very little time for the partner. Even if you somehow happen to find the time, you will be left with neither the energy nor the inclination to get romantic after a day that does not seem to end. In most cases this is the fate of romance after having children.
Another reason why romance is relegated to the background is because priorities change. Now the focus is more on the kids and the family instead of the husband wife relationship. Their own requirements are put on hold while the kids take center stage. Pressures of the workplace along with the constant demands of the children place a heavy burden on the couples and romance becomes a thing of the past after having children.
However, it is not necessary to sacrifice romance after having children. There are ways to keep the fire burning even in the face of all these challenges. The difference in your earlier and present relationship equation will only be that while earlier you had all the time in the world to play out all your romantic ideas, now you will have to make concerted effort to create time for each other. Remember that now quality will matter more than quantity of time spent together.
Try to squeeze in some couple time after putting the kids to bed. A new mother should ensure that she gets sufficient rest by sleeping when the baby sleeps during the day, so that when the spouse is back she is not too tired to spend a little romantic time together.
Once in a while hire a babysitter and go out together and discover romance thereafter.
There are numerous ways you can enjoy romance with your partner after putting the children to bed. On cold winter nights snuggle up together by the fireplace, or have a little picnic by the fireside. Include foods that are associated with romance like, cheese, chocolates, fruits and wine. During the summers sit on the terrace under the stars and gaze into each others eyes.
Spark up your romance that has ebbed after having children, with a bubble bath together. Try out some romantic games. Watch the DVD of a movie that both of you like.
And there is nothing to beat the feeling of closeness that comes with cuddling up to each other while enjoying a close and intimate conversation in bed.
With so many options available you can ignite the romance that you once relished, even after having children. Do not allow your childcare or household duties to inhibit you from bonding with each other and enjoying romance after having children.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Rohit Chopra has written several useful articles on Romance and Dating Tips like Love and Romance, Romance Book, Love Romance, Romance Moviee, etc. Get more useful information on romance and Dating Tips at www.romance-dating-tips.com
While children bring great happiness, they also ensure that the lifestyle of their parents is turned on its head. While earlier you may have had the time to nurture your relationship as a couple, once the children arrive, this effectively takes a back seat. All the passion and fire that once was the envy of your acquaintances disappears under stacks of nappies. A child demands constant attention, which leaves very little time for the partner. Even if you somehow happen to find the time, you will be left with neither the energy nor the inclination to get romantic after a day that does not seem to end. In most cases this is the fate of romance after having children.
Another reason why romance is relegated to the background is because priorities change. Now the focus is more on the kids and the family instead of the husband wife relationship. Their own requirements are put on hold while the kids take center stage. Pressures of the workplace along with the constant demands of the children place a heavy burden on the couples and romance becomes a thing of the past after having children.
However, it is not necessary to sacrifice romance after having children. There are ways to keep the fire burning even in the face of all these challenges. The difference in your earlier and present relationship equation will only be that while earlier you had all the time in the world to play out all your romantic ideas, now you will have to make concerted effort to create time for each other. Remember that now quality will matter more than quantity of time spent together.
Try to squeeze in some couple time after putting the kids to bed. A new mother should ensure that she gets sufficient rest by sleeping when the baby sleeps during the day, so that when the spouse is back she is not too tired to spend a little romantic time together.
Once in a while hire a babysitter and go out together and discover romance thereafter.
There are numerous ways you can enjoy romance with your partner after putting the children to bed. On cold winter nights snuggle up together by the fireplace, or have a little picnic by the fireside. Include foods that are associated with romance like, cheese, chocolates, fruits and wine. During the summers sit on the terrace under the stars and gaze into each others eyes.
Spark up your romance that has ebbed after having children, with a bubble bath together. Try out some romantic games. Watch the DVD of a movie that both of you like.
And there is nothing to beat the feeling of closeness that comes with cuddling up to each other while enjoying a close and intimate conversation in bed.
With so many options available you can ignite the romance that you once relished, even after having children. Do not allow your childcare or household duties to inhibit you from bonding with each other and enjoying romance after having children.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Rohit Chopra has written several useful articles on Romance and Dating Tips like Love and Romance, Romance Book, Love Romance, Romance Moviee, etc. Get more useful information on romance and Dating Tips at www.romance-dating-tips.com
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Problems When You Marry Your Best Friend
By Guardian Angel
Many would think that marrying a best friend has a better chance to be successful, mainly because friends are like diamonds, they are forever. While this can be true, marriage is very much different with friendship. So before assuming that you are very lucky to be married to your best friend, I suggest you check out these potential problems that may arise:
Wrong feelings
It looks like very rewarding that you have the best of both worlds: friendship and love. However, you may be just confused with your feelings. Loving each other is totally different with being in love with each other. You have to talk about it seriously to make sure that you know what you will be up to. If you fail to do so, you will loose your best friend which is very painful.
Shorter period of adjustment
While it is true that knowing each other very well can help a marriage to be successful, it may also be the other way around. Take note that you will now be living in one roof, and there are still some details that you do not know about each other while you were still friends. The sad part is that they may even be the opposite of the things you thought you already know.
Overconfident
Since you will have a shorter period of adjustment, you might be overconfident with your feelings. You will not even think that there will be a possibility of betrayal. However, you must remember that too much trust can also be harmful. Therefore it is very important that you keep on sharing each others thought, just like before.
Lack of romance
Best friends always want to talk to each other, sharing thoughts and have some vacation. However, romance may not be always present and this might lessen your feelings for each other. You will tend to forget to be passionate with each other which can make the love die. Romance adds life to have a successful marriage, but it is feels weird to be romantic to your best friend.
No one to run to
If you have a personal problem, you consult your best friend. If you will have a problem with your best friend turned spouse, who will you run to? Having your best friend as your spouse does not necessarily mean you will not have problems. In fact, it may be one of the reasons of your misunderstanding. This is because you are being caught between friends and lovers.
Best friends no more
As you go along, being married will be much greater than being friends. There will be responsibilities that are for husband and wife only like raising children and working hard for the family. Even before you notice it, your friendship will be just a memory to cherish. Do not allow this to happen because in the first place, it is the friendship that led to the deeper relationship.
Close friends are always open to each other. Lovers should always be close to each other.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
I am a Filipino engineer who recently found himself more comfortable in writing letters instead of numbers, and interacting with humans rather than machines. Now, I love to learn more, share more, and earn more through my Successful Marriage Tips.
Many would think that marrying a best friend has a better chance to be successful, mainly because friends are like diamonds, they are forever. While this can be true, marriage is very much different with friendship. So before assuming that you are very lucky to be married to your best friend, I suggest you check out these potential problems that may arise:
Wrong feelings
It looks like very rewarding that you have the best of both worlds: friendship and love. However, you may be just confused with your feelings. Loving each other is totally different with being in love with each other. You have to talk about it seriously to make sure that you know what you will be up to. If you fail to do so, you will loose your best friend which is very painful.
Shorter period of adjustment
While it is true that knowing each other very well can help a marriage to be successful, it may also be the other way around. Take note that you will now be living in one roof, and there are still some details that you do not know about each other while you were still friends. The sad part is that they may even be the opposite of the things you thought you already know.
Overconfident
Since you will have a shorter period of adjustment, you might be overconfident with your feelings. You will not even think that there will be a possibility of betrayal. However, you must remember that too much trust can also be harmful. Therefore it is very important that you keep on sharing each others thought, just like before.
Lack of romance
Best friends always want to talk to each other, sharing thoughts and have some vacation. However, romance may not be always present and this might lessen your feelings for each other. You will tend to forget to be passionate with each other which can make the love die. Romance adds life to have a successful marriage, but it is feels weird to be romantic to your best friend.
No one to run to
If you have a personal problem, you consult your best friend. If you will have a problem with your best friend turned spouse, who will you run to? Having your best friend as your spouse does not necessarily mean you will not have problems. In fact, it may be one of the reasons of your misunderstanding. This is because you are being caught between friends and lovers.
Best friends no more
As you go along, being married will be much greater than being friends. There will be responsibilities that are for husband and wife only like raising children and working hard for the family. Even before you notice it, your friendship will be just a memory to cherish. Do not allow this to happen because in the first place, it is the friendship that led to the deeper relationship.
Close friends are always open to each other. Lovers should always be close to each other.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
I am a Filipino engineer who recently found himself more comfortable in writing letters instead of numbers, and interacting with humans rather than machines. Now, I love to learn more, share more, and earn more through my Successful Marriage Tips.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Attention New Moms: What To Do When Your Husband Becomes A Stranger
By Salena Kulkarni
Moms, we are not in this new motherhood thing alone, men have to deal with it too. Really, they aren't getting the easy end of the deal either. They may not have had to give birth physically, but emotionally they are pretty level with us. Because becoming a new dad is just as tough as becoming a new mom, parenting can lead to difficulties for a couple.
Most couples will tell you that they were surprised about the impact having a baby had on their relationship. It really doesn't matter how well planned things were, or how much communication goes on before the birth of the child, there really is no way to prepare for the change that new parenthood has on a couple. As important as it is to figure out who you are as a woman after you become a mom, it is also important that you and your husband make sure you stay connected to each other.
The couple issues that are normally present in new parent relationships include differences in libido, finger pointing, and frustration. Sex is an issue because women can become afraid of sex, or their sex drives can decrease after giving birth. Reduced libido is a complex issue, but can occur as a result of poor self image or fatigue just to name two. For your husband this reduced libido is a point of frustration because he still finds you desirable, and it can be upsetting that his sexual feelings are not reciprocated. These types of issues can often lead to finger pointing and irritation because something about parenthood seems to highlight the other person's flaws.
Many new moms say that when junior arrives every flaw your spouse has is suddenly outlined in neon yellow and equipped with a siren. If your husband knows you at all, he will sense your irritation and this can often make him feel defensive and inadequate as a dad. Just keep reminding yourself that being a new dad is just as difficult as being a new mom. Frustration exists on both sides, and right now most of the world is focused on the baby. There is little time alone for the two of you and when you are together, you can spend a lot of time complaining and judging.
As many couples do survive and stay together (often happily) after having a baby, there has to be a way to make your relationship better during this tough time...
... there is!!
You need to reconnect with each other. You both need to want to make your relationship better. You both need to be realistic in what you expect from one another and you need to talk to each other openly and honestly. Tell each other what you want and what you need and really hear what your spouse is telling you.
For as much as becoming a new mom is about the baby it is also about the marriage. Date each other again regularly. Make it a set time and day and treat it as an urgent meeting. Take turns to organize something and surprise the other. This could be as simple as a picnic lunch in your back yard while the baby is taking a nap (which is what baby monitors were invented for).
Take a bath together before going to bed, or give each other a massage, but whatever you do, find a way to both relax and give yourselves intimate time alone just holding each other. The bottom line is you have to freshen and refuel the relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Salena Kulkarni is the creator of www.NewMommyMentor.com, and has just released a free audio on how new moms can feel energized, get back in shape, eliminate emotional overwhelm, and experience the amazing fulfillment of motherhood in 30 days or less!
Moms, we are not in this new motherhood thing alone, men have to deal with it too. Really, they aren't getting the easy end of the deal either. They may not have had to give birth physically, but emotionally they are pretty level with us. Because becoming a new dad is just as tough as becoming a new mom, parenting can lead to difficulties for a couple.
Most couples will tell you that they were surprised about the impact having a baby had on their relationship. It really doesn't matter how well planned things were, or how much communication goes on before the birth of the child, there really is no way to prepare for the change that new parenthood has on a couple. As important as it is to figure out who you are as a woman after you become a mom, it is also important that you and your husband make sure you stay connected to each other.
The couple issues that are normally present in new parent relationships include differences in libido, finger pointing, and frustration. Sex is an issue because women can become afraid of sex, or their sex drives can decrease after giving birth. Reduced libido is a complex issue, but can occur as a result of poor self image or fatigue just to name two. For your husband this reduced libido is a point of frustration because he still finds you desirable, and it can be upsetting that his sexual feelings are not reciprocated. These types of issues can often lead to finger pointing and irritation because something about parenthood seems to highlight the other person's flaws.
Many new moms say that when junior arrives every flaw your spouse has is suddenly outlined in neon yellow and equipped with a siren. If your husband knows you at all, he will sense your irritation and this can often make him feel defensive and inadequate as a dad. Just keep reminding yourself that being a new dad is just as difficult as being a new mom. Frustration exists on both sides, and right now most of the world is focused on the baby. There is little time alone for the two of you and when you are together, you can spend a lot of time complaining and judging.
As many couples do survive and stay together (often happily) after having a baby, there has to be a way to make your relationship better during this tough time...
... there is!!
You need to reconnect with each other. You both need to want to make your relationship better. You both need to be realistic in what you expect from one another and you need to talk to each other openly and honestly. Tell each other what you want and what you need and really hear what your spouse is telling you.
For as much as becoming a new mom is about the baby it is also about the marriage. Date each other again regularly. Make it a set time and day and treat it as an urgent meeting. Take turns to organize something and surprise the other. This could be as simple as a picnic lunch in your back yard while the baby is taking a nap (which is what baby monitors were invented for).
Take a bath together before going to bed, or give each other a massage, but whatever you do, find a way to both relax and give yourselves intimate time alone just holding each other. The bottom line is you have to freshen and refuel the relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Salena Kulkarni is the creator of www.NewMommyMentor.com, and has just released a free audio on how new moms can feel energized, get back in shape, eliminate emotional overwhelm, and experience the amazing fulfillment of motherhood in 30 days or less!
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