What Getting Married Will Not Do For You

By Rodrigo Rehn

Many people, of all ages, look at marriage not only as the union of two people but as an opportunity to change their relationship or the person that they are getting married to. So many marriages fail because people have an idea of what marriage will do for them and their relationship. If you could avoid these pitfalls you could avoid getting married for the wrong reasons, which might allow for you to get married for the right reasons and really make it work.

It won't change your relationship if it is already dysfunctional. The only difference in the relationship will be that it is a legal union.

Getting married won't keep you or your spouse from cheating. Being married won't make your spouse come home at night if they have a penchant for staying out late now. Being married doesn't force most people to grow up. When you're married you aren't going to change your spouse's basic personality. If your spouse didn't want kids before, they aren't going to want kids now.

Getting married won't change the past. If your spouse is abusive, chances are they will continue to be abusive once you get married. When you're married your spouse will not instantly understand you or your emotions any better than they did before. Getting married won't fix everything, in fact it may just complicate things further.

Many people assume that when they get married that a switch is flipped and all is well, but this is not the case. There is this build up to being married with the wedding and the reception and all of the plans that go along with it, but once this is over it is actually quite anti-climactic. The reason that it is anti-climactic is because when it's over, everything feels the same and is the same as it was before. Now what?

When you get married you need to know that you are doing it for the right reasons and you need to know that the relationship may never be better than it is right now. Is that something that you can live with?

You need to assume that things will stay exactly like they are now, and when you assume this it will give you a real indication of whether this is the relationship for you. If you are happy with the way things are right now, you need not worry about it, but if you are putting all your hope in how things will be after you get married you will be disappointed if you do get married.

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Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating for singles.